Movement

I enjoy the process of building off an already existing thing. I don't instigate the movement but I'll willingly join in. Direction from an experienced hand is always appreciated in my moments of ambition.
{I like to know what I'm doing before I begin the process.}
 As I grow weary in action, my selfish desire to be praised serves as my main motivation to see it through till the end. 

What becomes of my ambition when - unbeknownst to me-  I'm ignorantly positioned in a state of life-changing movement when it seems to have no beginning preparation or concluding praise? 

It 

Crumbles my security 

Replaces my sanity 

Erases my surely 

And 

Spotlights my vanity 

Everyone warns and advises you to seize the rapidly moving moments as best you can but the movement grows within me at a faster rate than anyone could have fully prepared me for. It's the sort of motion that seems to have left me out of the picture, blurring me in a state of stilled confusion.
I never willingly joined in, yet here I am - left with no other choice but to cave in and learn to love the direction in which I'm currently traveling.
It's only in my solitude that I question this state of existence I'm in.
Every outside person participates with overwhelming interest.

Without permission
they
touch
direct
encourage
correct
the movement.

Expecting it to be received

and mirrored back to them

with the same amount of enthusiasm

I swallow up my confessions and ball them up in a tumor between by esophagus and diaphragm 

 - it sits there and remind me of how uncomfortable I feel. 

Then I hit the repeat button and listen to my hallow responses over and over again to their gestures. 

Every so often I'll slip into weakness and reveal my heart in a waterfall of thoughtless words - but everyone knows that its best to remain silent when you have nothing good to say. 

Especially when you have every reason to have something good to say. 

The snake takes the foothold - then I willingly offer it my legs and arms - shocked at myself in the process while experiencing a sort of wicked fulfillment. 

Knowing the reptile is hungry enough to consume me, I watch as it inches it's way closer and closer to my heart. 

Then... I just, smash it's head on a rock...

...and continue on with the movement.