Movement

I enjoy the process of building off an already existing thing. I don't instigate the movement but I'll willingly join in. Direction from an experienced hand is always appreciated in my moments of ambition.
{I like to know what I'm doing before I begin the process.}
 As I grow weary in action, my selfish desire to be praised serves as my main motivation to see it through till the end. 

What becomes of my ambition when - unbeknownst to me-  I'm ignorantly positioned in a state of life-changing movement when it seems to have no beginning preparation or concluding praise? 

It 

Crumbles my security 

Replaces my sanity 

Erases my surely 

And 

Spotlights my vanity 

Everyone warns and advises you to seize the rapidly moving moments as best you can but the movement grows within me at a faster rate than anyone could have fully prepared me for. It's the sort of motion that seems to have left me out of the picture, blurring me in a state of stilled confusion.
I never willingly joined in, yet here I am - left with no other choice but to cave in and learn to love the direction in which I'm currently traveling.
It's only in my solitude that I question this state of existence I'm in.
Every outside person participates with overwhelming interest.

Without permission
they
touch
direct
encourage
correct
the movement.

Expecting it to be received

and mirrored back to them

with the same amount of enthusiasm

I swallow up my confessions and ball them up in a tumor between by esophagus and diaphragm 

 - it sits there and remind me of how uncomfortable I feel. 

Then I hit the repeat button and listen to my hallow responses over and over again to their gestures. 

Every so often I'll slip into weakness and reveal my heart in a waterfall of thoughtless words - but everyone knows that its best to remain silent when you have nothing good to say. 

Especially when you have every reason to have something good to say. 

The snake takes the foothold - then I willingly offer it my legs and arms - shocked at myself in the process while experiencing a sort of wicked fulfillment. 

Knowing the reptile is hungry enough to consume me, I watch as it inches it's way closer and closer to my heart. 

Then... I just, smash it's head on a rock...

...and continue on with the movement. 

The Walking War

I watched this impossibly corny attempt at a music video for "Joshua Fought the Battle"on youtube after reading chapter 5 and 6 of Joshua. It was the classic Sunday School teacher's "cool idea" gone totally wrong. All the kids wore the same blue T-shirt, they emotionally lip sang to a CD track, and blew their kazoo's in the end to watch the colorful cardboard block walls came a "Tumblin' down." The video left me feeling like the whole point of the story was being missed. Now, don't get me wrong, if I were five years old again I would've been so pumped for the video and probably would have begged my mom to let me be part of it! It wasn't the quality of the video but the content that bothered me. Here are a few of the lyrics to that Sunday School Classic: 

"Joshua fought the battle of Jericho,

Jericho, Jericho,

Joshua fought the battle of Jericho,

And the walls came tumbling down!

You may talk about your men of Gideon,

You may talk about your men of Saul,

But there's none like good old Joshua

And the battle of Jericho!

... then later in the song it says: 

"Go blow them ram horns," Joshua cried,

"Cause the battle is in my hand."

Hmm.... you see what I'm seeing? Who really fought the battle of Jericho? 

Joshua 5:13 {When Joshua was by Jericho, he lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, a man was standing before him with his drawn sword in his hand. And Joshua went to him and said to him, “Are you for us, or for our adversaries?"}

Imagine it... Heres Joshua, walkin along one of the Jericho walls - Head down, Hands folded behind his back, and kicking pebbles along the pathway for a fun little game of solitary soccer. He takes a deep breath in and lets it go in a sigh as his eyes climb up the huge wall next to Him, thinking, "How in the world are we going to pull this off?" All a sudden, He sees this man - sword drawn and ready to fight. Joshua, thinking He's been caught in a moment of weakness, straightens up, puffs out his chest, and puts on his serious eyebrows and asks, " Are you for us, or one of our adversaries?" Obviously not knowing who He is talking too. 

What's the man's response to that question?  {no.} Haha! 

(Sorry, I just think that's funny....) 

He goes on to explain, "I am the commander of the army of the Lord." 

**light bulb** Joshua hits the floor in reverence asking what the Lord has to say. The angel proceeds to tells Joshua to rally up the people, get them in formation, and walk around the city of Jericho. The first 6 days they were commanded by God to walk once around the city with the ark of the covenant and then on the 7th day walk around it 7 times. At the end of the 7th lap on the 7th day the priests would ring out a long blow of the trumpet and everyone would scream at the top of their lungs and the walls would fall and they would claim victory!  

First response = "...Wait... what?" 

Yep, that's it. Walk.  

At the beginning of this walking war Joshua told the people of Israel,

{"You shall not shout to make your voice heard, neither shall any word go out of your mouth, 

until the day I tell you to shout. Then you shall shout." Joshua 6:10 }

So, that means the command was to -----> SILENTLY WALK. 

Thats why I couldn't swallow those song lyrics down the right tube.

Joshua did not fight the battle of Jericho. He wouldn't have ever claimed that the battle was "in his hands," either. 
Instead, He told the people in Joshua 6:16 to: 

"SHOUT, for the LORD has given you this city!" 

This is something that I am learning in MY "walk" with God right now. 

God has promised me victory and my part of the process is to simply walk and silently trust. 

As I do, I find myself thinking I should be doing more to make progress on the plans God has laid before me. But, doing anything more than walking in faith would be disobedience and distrust in the capability of the Lord to work out His will for My life in HIS perfect timing.


When I reach that place of victory, it is THEN that my mouth will open and my voice will be heard. Not using my voice as a means of expressing my opinion or making my next request but singing praises to the One who fought my war.  

Trust in the Lord. 

Lean not on your understanding of the situation. 

Acknowledge Him with every step. 

He will direct you. 

(Proverbs 3:5-6) 

From Whore to Worshiper

The Book of Joshua is my new journey as of the last week. I forgot how many incredible stories are bound within it's pages - war, triumph, character plots, and the command by God that repeats itself throughout the whole book,
"Be strong and have courage."  

This week, Chapter 2 took my interest.
Particularly, with the character of Rahab the Harlot. 

Here's the story: 

Two spies are sent by Joshua to check out the city of Jericho. When they are spotted by the King and His men, they come to the house of Rahab the innkeeper/ prostitute to hide out. Now, whats up with these Godly men running to a prostitute's house as their first response? Who knows. They could have been frantic, confused, desperate, OR well... you know. However it happened, apparently they were lead to the right house. Rahab hides the men on her roof under bundles of flax and then lies to the King and His men saying that the spies had come by her house but late at night they snuck away and she didn't know who they were, where they came from, or where they were going. Had she been caught in her lie, she would have been executed. (Told you - some good stuff)

But that isn't really what caught my attention. Rahab - this gentile prostitute - speaks to the spies in verses 8- 13 with remarkable understanding of the true and living God saying: I know the Lord has given you this land for we have heard the things your God has done. The Lord your God, He is God in Heaven above and on earth beneath. Now I beg you, deliver me and my family from death." (Paraphrased)

She saw the works of God

 She feared Him 

She Believed  

You can imagine seeing this look of deep desire on her face as she speaks. A desire to be separated from her corrupted society, identity, and life and be placed under the name of the true God who saves. Her declaration of faith and actions done out of that faith display the condition of her heart.

The spies promise her that as long as her and her family remain inside the walls of her home and she remains faithful on her side of the deal and they will be saved. The outward sign for her faith? -  A Scarlet Thread hung outside the window of her home. Similar to the passover in Exodus where they covered their door posts with the blood of a spotless lamb. When Judgement time came God said: "When I see the blood, I will passover you." Exodus 12:13 

James talks about Rahab saying "Was not Rahab the harlot also justified by works when she received the messengers and sent them another way?"(James 2:25) - She had Faith and she worked from that Faith.

Justification by Faith alone means a faith 

- not dead- but working by LOVE. 

This humble prostitute's act of faith even earned her a spot in the Bible's famous FAITH chapter (Hebrews 11) along with the great Noah, Abraham, Joseph, and Moses. --- WOAH.

BUT WAIT The question still remains... What happened next?

Don't worry, The story keeps getting better. 

FaSt FoRwArD --> --> --> --> --> 

Well, it's assumed that, after Jericho was destroyed, Rahab left her life of sin and followed Joshua and the people of God.

Why the assumption you ask?? 

Because guess who Rahab gets married to?!?!

 .... One of the spies who she hid on her roof - Salmon! 

**Pause for the exhausted "AwwwwwWWWWwwww!"** 

It doesn't end there, this beautiful legacy of redemption lives on through their descendants as well. Rahab and Salmon have a son named BOAZ who would eventually get married to RUTH! ( For those of you who know the story of Ruth, maybe Boaz's love and compassion for Ruth stemmed from the testimony of his mother? Just a thought.)
And not only that, (it keeps getting better) the family line that Rahab married into would eventually lead to the Messiah - Jesus - the central and most powerful story of redemption ever told.

It goes to show..... 

You never know who God will use for His Glory. 

He is not bound by our past but uses it as a powerful testimony of His grace. 

Spiritual Lessons Between Clearance Racks

I stumbled on a blog I wrote a while ago that has provoked new inspiration in me recently. Thought I would re-share :) 

The other day I was in Ross shopping with the intentions of buying a cheap coffee mug. Of course I stumbled upon every other section of the store with "innocent" intentions of only looking as I made my way back wall where the coffee mugs were located. As every girl, and most guy, can testify to... these "innocent" intentions left me wandering through the store for about an hour picking up, trying on, and looking through different items and clothing. The more that I wondered, the more that I put into my shopping cart. Of course, I was only 'saving' them in case I made the decision that I really needed them (and I can proudly tell you that at the end of my trip to Ross i DID only purchase the coffee mug).

However, I did learn a spiritual lesson while I rummaged through the clearance leftovers and it was found in a saying printed on the front of a shirt that read: 

"It's not How you Look. Its How You See"

The front of the shirt had a picture of an  owl wearing glasses with these wise words written across the owl's chest. I didn't buy the shirt, but for some reason the words stuck with me this whole week. 

"Its not how you look. Its how you see." 

I did some googling on owls (Its just like me to do that.. waist my time looking up the unimportant things while I leave the 'to do list' on the side awaiting it's completion) and I found some interesting facts. Did you know that owls can see perfectly during the day but exceptionally well in the night hours? Or that their eyes are fixed in their sockets and so they rotate their heads up to 3/4th of the way around to change the position of their vision. Also, because their forward-facing eyes, they have highly developed binocular vision.

What would an owl, a bird with exceptionally enhanced vision, need glasses for? 

Often times we are skilled at looking but  unskilled when it comes to seeing. Our eyes have adjusted to the darkness and we see "perfectly", but what happens when the Light is turned on? Proverbs 21:2 says, "Every way of a man is right in His own eye, but the Lord weighs the hearts." and it says in Proverbs 15:30 that "The light of the eyes rejoices the heart." If God weighs the heart, and the light rejoices the heart, then there must be a positive connection between the two, right? We must learn to see in Light. 

The definition of looking is: "to turn one's eyes toward something or in some direction in order to see"

Seeing follows looking with the definition: "to perceive (things) mentally; discern; understand" If you look without seeing you fail to accomplish the purpose. Just like owls, Christians are to have forward-set eyes, "Let us fix our eyes upon Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith" (Hebrews 12:2) Also like owls, God has given His children 'binocular vision' that enables them to perceive, discern, and understand the world around us as we put on HIS EYES. 

Now, don't take me literally on this, but I think we should follow the example of the owl and put our glasses on; for it's the lens through which we look at the world that determines if we are truly able to see. 

My son, give me your heart, And let your eyes observe my ways. (Proverbs 23:26)

"Its not how you LOOK. Its How you SEE."